Luckily Mike had a short day at work and Courtney didn't need to stay with her babysitter the entire day. Today is day two without her and I do really hate it. I want to feed her, I want to play with her, I want to cuddle her when she cries and rock her to sleep.
I want to know how people decide to give up their income to stay home full time and raise their family? Does the husband make enough that you don't ever have to worry about finances? How do you make that decision? Mike and I had always said that I would be a working mom. This decision was made because we were unwilling to give up my salary and it would allow us to have a few extras (vacations anyone?). But now that I am an experienced working mom with my whole 2 days of experience (enter sarcasm here), is the money really worth having someone else care for your child more than half of your week? What if you don't even really like your job and you do it just because of the money?
When I was younger I always told people I wanted to be a stay at home mom. My mom stayed home and I loved it. No we didn't go on family vacations yearly, but how often does a family with two working parents get to vacation anyway?
Can you tell what's been on my mind lately? But really, who wouldn't miss this face?
4 comments:
now i'm going to give you MY story, and it doesn't mean it's right or wrong...
the way jason "convinced' me that it would be okay to stay home was by breaking down our bills weekly....
he took our rental payment and divided it by 4 (because he gets paid weekly).... this was how much we HAD to put into savings to pay for rent.... then we looked at the past 6 months of bills and got an average for our utilities.... we went high. we were paying about 20 bucks max for gas (he "allowed" $50).... electricity was averaging about $30 to $35 he "allowed" $80.... so that's what we would put aside.... we started doing that before Lewie came, because he was pretty set he didn't want me to work. we looked at where we could save money.... (i.e. cooking meals more and doubling the recipe and eating leftovers) things like that... i started clipping coupons, etc. and it goes on and on and on....
i looked into about 3 or 4 different daycares that i would even CONSIDER taking Lewie to and how much it would cost for the FULLTIME daycare, as that's what my working schedule was.... and i had to allow time before and after work (for travel time).... we took my pay, and after all was said and done, i'd be making just a few hundred bucks (weekly) after paying for daycare.... which would also mean, i'd be a lot more tired and probably cooking and cleaning a lot less.... i am CERTAIN it's super difficult to be at work these first few days.... i'd say that you should sit down with mike and make a list of the pros and cons. be entirely realistic. if you stopped working, would you go back at a certain age? what would you want to do at that time? is there anything you can do while you're home to help you get to that point that you would want to be at when you returned?? (like continuing school for another degree.... take an online course just for fun.... planning your resume accordingly.... volunteering once a week? etc)
the only advice i can give you is that whatever it is that you decide to do, don't lose yourself in it.... whether that be working, or not.... when you stay at home, you tend to put the kids first, or the house, or your husband, and although it is rewarding, it can become overwhelming after awhile. allow yourself a day to go get pampered, like getting your hair done.... getting a manicure or a pedicure. or going to lunch with your friends. financially PLAN those things into your budget, even if it means you have to save a little aside for a few weeks.... you STILL deserve it.... because when you stay at home, it is VERY enjoyable for you, but i think it gets overlooked at how much work goes into that.... it's not always pleasant, and when there is no money coming in (on your behalf), you kind of feel like you're working for free.... even if you husband WANTS you to go out and spoil yourself.... and everyone is different, don't get me wrong!! you may not feel that way. i had a VERY hard time not financially helping at all.... or i felt like i shouldn't be spending any of the money because jason never does... are you in a position to go part time?? if not, i bet you have some serious thinking to do.... just remember that whatever decision you make, it doesn't have to be permanent....
your little girl is only so little for such a short time.... and i KNOW you enjoy every single second of her.... ;)
sorry for writing such a long post!! i wish you the very best of luck in your decision making!! you're a wonderful mommy with a BEAUTIFUL little girl. i'm certain you'll make the best decision for YOU and YOUR FAMILY!
p.p.s. that picture of her is ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE!!!! she is so alert!! so precious!!
Thanks Ashley. I always just assumed that when I had children I would keep working, but putting your child in daycare or dropping them off with a babysitter for most of the day really does make you think, is this worth it?
it does. especially when you don't LOVE your job, and the pay is barely anything left over after you PAY for daycare.... i was fortunate, with taylor, to have had family look after her while i worked and such. and then i quit working after a year and did school, morning and nights and stayed with her all day. it just worked out.... now is entirely different. bringing home a few hundred bucks each week (after we were to pay a daycare) just isn't worth it to me... i'd be EXTRA tired, and moody, and we'd probably eat fast foods a LOT more... YUCK!
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