Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Random. 10 things.

I'm joining Mandy over at Harpers Happenings to do a 10 things post. Here we go!

1) I don't like cold water...like to drink it. Makes my teeth hurt.
2) I've had FOUR root canals. Let's just say I pray Courtney has Mike's teeth.
3) If I never got married I'd probably be the crazy cat lady. I love cats. And sadly after we lost Jenna, we haven't adopted a new kitty...yet!
4) One of my favorite parts of Christmas is shopping for Toys for Tots.
5) And with that, Christmas is my favorite holiday.
6) I'm on the fence between having a repeat c-section or trying for a vaginal birth (VBAC) with our next little one. (no I'm not pregnant)
7) I have a broadcast journalism degree. Don't hold that against me with my grammar here mmkay?
8) I have an awesome older sister!
9) I work from home 40 hours a week.
10) I can sing the whole Mickey Mouse Clubhouse theme song. Perks of being a mom.

And 10 questions from Mandy:
1. have you ever met someone famous? The most recent person was years back and that was Chris Daughtry. You know, the guy from American Idol?

2. what is your happiest childhood memory? Christmas at Grandma's house.
3. favorite album of all time? Hit me baby one more time. Britney Spears!
4. are you a salty or sweet lover? SWEET!
5. what is favorite guilty pleasure tv show or movie? Teen Mom on MTV.
6. describe your favorite sandwich. Turkey BLT. mmmmmmmm
7. what was your first pet? Mickey our golden retriever.
8. what is your biggest accomplishment thus far in life? Courtney! I still look at her and can't believe I made her. :)
9. what is the first blog you started reading? Probably The Heir to Blair.
10. if you had to choose one dessert for the rest of your life, what would it be? Oh no. ummmmmm...Little Debbie Zebra Cakes!

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Napping Battles

Napping is going to be the death of me...and I have no one to blame but myself. Courtney naps wonderfully at daycare. A good 1 1/2 - 2 hours. (unless they are a bunch of lying liars). One the weekends or days when she is home with me. No siree. No napping here. I try everything. Super Nanny style. The kid fights me. For hours.

Like today, we went out to the Jump Zone so she could burn of some energy before lunch. We played until I knew she was getting tired. That meant I needed to rush home, while keeping her awake long enough so that I could feed her lunch and then hopefully put her peacefully down for a nap. I mean come on...she just jumped in a jumper for 45 minutes.

After lunch of ravioli, I brought her to her room tucked her in and stood at her door where she couldn't see me. After 15 times of putting her back in her bed, I let her play a while hoping she'd put herself to bed. After what I thought was a good 10 minutes of quiet, I check on her and she has pulled out her drawers, opened her closet and somehow put on herself THREE swim diapers. I gave up at that point and brought her to our bed with her pillow and blanket. Put on cartoons and 10 minutes later. walla!

You gotta do what you gotta do!

Friday, February 10, 2012

A Love Letter to C-Section Moms

This is copied from The Stir on thestir.cafemom.com

If I were a DJ, I would be shouting "This one is for the c-section mommies!" And then all the moms who have had cesareans would cheer "Wooooooo!" We need that. Women who have had c-sections for reasons beyond their control need to feel the love that moms who got to have the natural birth they wanted are allowed to feel. Moms who have had c-sections need and deserve respect and love for the way they birthed. We need to honor all ways of birth, even the ones that didn't go as we planned. Because it is still the way some children are brought into our lives. Hear me out. This isn't about being pro-cesarean. This is about being pro-mom.

You see, some people seem to think there are two kinds of moms -- those who have c-sections and those who do not. This 'battle' divides us, and makes one side feel like a mother who didn't do the right thing.

I had a c-section. I didn't schedule it so I could preserve my vagina, nor did I pick the date because it was convenient. It was necessary and needed. And I really shouldn't have to explain more than that because well, do we go into detail on how there was sexy lingerie, lots of foreplay, and a glass of wine involved in the conception of your baby? No. Birth is (to some) a private and deeply emotional event in a woman's life. Being judged for having a c-section without knowing the details is ... well ... wrong. Many moms like me had to have a c-section in order to be a mother. It's as simple as that. Life or death. A choice that has to be made quickly given the circumstance. Many times the moms who had an emergency c-section or are still having a difficult time processing their birth or were made to believe they needed one despite their parental instincts are the ones who are often silent, and who are silently hurt. This love letter, this awareness I hope to instill in people, this is for you.

We are still mothers. We just had our babies through what I like to call a little kangaroo kind of pouch.

There may always be questions. Should I have trusted the doctors? Did I do all I could have? And that's okay. C-section moms bear the scar where our babies were born, and we shouldn't continue to be hurt by the insensitive words that many say without realizing that not all c-sections are frivolous choices. We love our babies just as much. Some of us are just as "crunchy" as homebirthers, we are attachment parents, we love our children and have amazing bonds with them.

Our vulnerability comes from feeling unsupported, and words hurt. I fear that some of my own articles on the topic could have even hurt women just like me, but I have always tried to choose my words carefully. I am a natural birth advocate, but am a c-section mommy. I can be both. I am proudly both. It's true that when you have pain or deep hurt because of something, sometimes anything on the topic is tough to read. You feel defensive; you feel the words are directed at you as if you did something wrong. Any woman (or man) who has been through something difficult can relate to that. And the subject of birth or how we birth is the same, perhaps even more challenging to process and work through. This is why we need even more compassion and understanding, These battles that are created -- the c-section moms versus everyone else -- should stop. Generalizing this isn't helpful for women to process they way they birthed if it didn't go according to plan.

Not everything in life goes according to plan.

One of my friends told me that her c-section was the best and worst experience of her life. And that's exactly it for me. It was the best because it enabled me to have my twins healthy after being diagnosed with HELLP syndrome, and the worst because it was frightening and not the way I wanted to birth. It took a long time, but I have come to terms with the way I birthed.

Sometimes the opposite of what we think is best ... is what is really best. Just like how this mom wanted to exclusively breastfeed but found that supplementing with formula helped save her from going into a depression and helped her baby thrive. We cannot judge unless we know the full and complete story, every angle, all the background, and I realize that's not really something we could ever completely know. I don't want the c-section rates to rise because I do want women to have the births they want to have. But I also don't want the women whose births were difficult and resulted in surgery to be made to feel like they did something wrong.

Maybe we can all be a little more kind in the words we choose, remembering those who are challenged with the very topic being discussed. Remembering that many women have guilt or sadness because they absolutely had to have a c-section. I know how hard the recovery is even a year or two after. But we deserve to find peace in the way we had our children. Our path to motherhood may not be the same, but it's our path, something we need to find the beauty in, because all moms deserve that. You deserve that.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012